It should be made clear, by way of introduction, that there is no watertight partition between these types. And askers can easily slide from one style to another "effortlessly". Let us also note that the masculine is used for the sole purpose of keeping the text light.
[ ] The asker in need:
He is the most honest of them all. As the name indicates, he is in some form of necessity and needs assistance. If you have the means, whether your heart moves you to it or not, there is blessing in coming to his aid. Generosity is a virtue, and nature always balances things out.
[ ] The lazy asker:
This one is able to work but could not care less. He has at his disposal a network of people, friends, relatives and acquaintances who are reasonably comfortable, and he knows it. He does not "do" a thing and waits for the support that is bound to come, because he has his network mastered. He is the grand puppet master and you are the puppets. While you slog away, he is looking up the price of the next flight to Dubai.
[ ] The proud asker:
This one has a situation of his own, yet he tells himself "I work, but you, you have to give to me" Er... And on what exactly are you basing that?? He is basing it on everything and on nothing. This type invents for you an imaginary wealth and an imaginary personality, which he then comes along to exploit. And beware: he grows angry very quickly when you refuse or are slow to give, because it is their right, you see.
[ ] The persistent asker:
He is not in need. He is in no hurry. He asks and asks until the day you finally give. Whatever the amount, he settles down. All he wants is to be able to tell himself that "I have already eaten his money" . His philosophy: "Why is it that he lives in France, in the United States, in Canada, and he has never given me anything?" There you have it! And so you send him money and his obsession fades. He moves on to something else. Did he really need it in the first place?? Naaahh!!
[ ] The jealous asker:
This gentleman is simply irritated that you have any. He asks out of jealousy. The mere knowledge that you have some does not sit well with him. But he is close to you: he is your brother, your sister, your good friend, an uncle, an auntie, and so on. What sets him apart from the persistent asker is that he comes back to the task from time to time. It is only when you truly look destitute that he will go away. He is the leech asker: once he has sucked everything dry, he deserts. Thank you, Dracula!
[ ] The recurring asker:
This one thinks of you only when things are going badly. No conversation, no greeting, no small talk. When the sky darkens over his house, he knows where to go looking for sunshine. And if you have no sunshine to offer, too bad. He will wait for day to break over yours. In any case, why go to the fountain if you have no need of water?
[ ] The regular asker:
Every month or every week, or at a regular interval he has set for himself, he comes back to ask you. Very calm and very patient, his language never changes: "What’s the word, brother?" . Everything unfolds in perfect cordiality, for he knows that one does not offend the hand that gives regularly.
[ ] The self-interested / materialistic asker:
With this one, every time he comes to ask how you are, it is to take some money along with the news. What sets him apart from the recurring asker is that his approach is steeped in courtesy, in all manner of conversation, even in jokes, but the whole thing almost always ends in a request. He is self-interested, materialistic and opportunistic all at once. He has a wicked nose for it. Who are you to deserve having him ask after you for free? Time to release the cash...
[ ] The "honest borrowers" asker:
Here is another category of asker: he comes to you as a borrower, but he knows you have the means and that you will not lend, you will give. This type is cunning and manipulative. Needing $50, he will say to you: "Can you lend me $100, please?" He knows you will answer: "I do not have $100 to lend you, but I can give you $50/$40" . Bingo! He takes it and clears off, ready to run the same operation on someone else.
[ ] The "dishonest borrowers" asker:
We end with the kind I hold in horror: he knows you have the means, that you will lend to him, and that he will not pay you back. He swims on your legendary kindness. He is the author of an unhealthy manipulation that throws your plans off and damages mutual trust. Some harms are irreversible and leave an indelible mark on the relationship; others heal over and the friendship returns to normal with a bitter memory. Those ones, file them away and then flee them.
Which type(s) of asker do you know, or which are you? 😅😅
M.Z.
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