After the series on the ten types of askers, today we explore the ten types of givers. Once again, a person may wear several hats depending on the situation, and the masculine gender is used to keep the text light.
[ ] The open-hearted / caring giver:
He is concerned about your situation and he helps you out. He is the person who gives because he knows there is pleasure in practising the law of giving. He is happy when giving, and sometimes even goes looking for opportunities to be generous. He is one of those whose philosophy is: “money, it comes and it goes.” If it can be used today to make someone smile, there is no reason to hold back.
[ ] The constrained / reluctant giver:
He gives to you because he does not want to lose his reputation. People are watching. Can’t go spoiling my name now. These people generally have a problem with self-esteem. They cannot bring themselves to say “NO,” and when they finally do say it, they have real trouble sticking to it. And some manipulators know this and take advantage of it.
[ ] The masked / invisible giver:
He goes through someone else to give to you, so as not to reveal his identity and see the requests multiply. This donor is discreet, and his concern is to see your problem settled without exposing himself to future requests that might swamp him. He does everything quietly and behind the scenes. He is the Zorro of the story.
[ ] The faroteur / ostentatious giver:
He gives only in public, and he gives staggering sums. We all know those faroteurs in the old Ivorian music videos who never stop flaunting astronomical amounts and showering them over a dancer or a crowd in a trance, in fistfuls of large banknotes. As for this giver, if there is nobody in the vicinity to appreciate, extol, cheer or praise the gesture, well then, “please call back at a later time.”
[ ] The discreet / bossy giver:
This one is the exact opposite of the previous one. He generally answers with “come by and see me later.” He is a little like the open-hearted giver. But he prefers to take the time to think, then weigh up his gesture and its impact. He expresses his generosity conscientiously, thoughtfully and in measured amounts. This slowing down might bother some people, but the sums received from a bossy giver often have real style to them. With them, we understand better why they say that patience is a road paved with gold.
[ ] The lending / banker giver:
Under the guise of a giver, what he is really doing is making you a loan, and he expects a return. He knows you will return the favour. We only ever lend to the rich. If you do not return the favour, he will remind you of it without fail: “on June 29, 2019 at 1:15 p.m., you were in a tight spot and I bailed you out. But today… Hmm!” It is better to turn to a lending giver only as a last resort. One thing is certain: your need will be met. But at what price? Therein lies the question.
[ ] The occasional / situational giver:
He insists on picking up the bill once in a while. And woe betide you if you try to steal his limelight. He may not really have the means, and if the stars line up in his favour and some money comes in, he is only too glad to show it; and not only to show it, but also to make others notice that if he does not do it day in and day out, it is because his means are often limited. When that moment comes, it is his hour of glory. Be careful not to deprive him of this age-old pleasure!
[ ] The deceiving / phoney giver:
This kind of giver has the means, maybe, maybe not. Every time you make a request of him, he answers “I’m going to help you” but he never helps. He dangles before you the hypothetical satisfaction of a need. Sometimes he knows perfectly well that he has nothing to offer you. Sometimes he is waiting on money that is likewise slow to arrive. In the end, he is there without being there. Do you know the Fantomas series? Then you will have understood it all...
[ ] The repaying / in-return giver:
He has something of the reluctant giver about him, with a layer of conscience: if I am giving to you today, it is because you gave to me when I needed it. He is the flip side of the lending giver. He keeps a detailed and up-to-date list of the people who came to his rescue when he needed it most. At the first opportunity, he never fails to return the favour and show his gratitude to those people.
[ ] The petty / colonizing giver:
He gives in order to keep you in a form of dependence on him. His gesture is meant to hold you in a certain servitude. He knows what you need and when you need it. He gives you less, or late. With a manipulative, subjugating mind, he displays a vile pettiness. If I elaborate too much, I will stray into politics and into the handling of public affairs by certain leaders.
So then, at the close of all this, which type or types of giver would you assign yourself to, and which ones are you dealing with?
M.Z.
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