We live in a world that grows harder by the day. Some, within this already complicated context, live in societies that are extremely stressful. The human being, as we know him, has vanished behind a host of preoccupations we call — wrongly, I would add — existential. Life is reduced to working, chasing money, running, saving and/or meeting the family’s needs when one can, and so on.
It is all very well to do that. It is even necessary to do it. Necessary, but not vital. What is vital is to live. As obvious as that may seem, we now find it hard to live.
Some scrape by.
Others survive.
Others barely live at all.
A good many simply subsist.
The luckiest live a little.
Very few live fully.
Which category do you fall into today?
Which one would you like to fall into six months from now, a year from now?
On this point, let us take it as said and settled: to live or not to live is not merely a question of money.
Let me give you the example of two acquaintances of mine, to whom I am giving false first names in order to protect their identity:
Mr. Karel L. is of Togolese origin and lives in Montréal. Karel works at National Bank and earns an income of roughly $100,000 a year. He is married and has two children. He lives in a self-deprivation that is almost punitive. He takes no trips for pleasure. He has been in Canada for 13 years without once visiting his widowed mother back home. He provides for her needs and is currently building her a house. His children have no idea what their country of origin looks like and have never seen their grandmother.
My other gentleman, Julien T., also Togolese, lives in Lomé and earns about 205,000 FCFA a month, which comes to 2,460,000 FCFA a year. With a little converting, we notice that his annual salary is roughly $5,500. And yet he often travels with his wife and their daughter. He takes photographs and makes memories for that child and for themselves. He finds the time to go and see his parents, who stayed behind in the village. His daughter sometimes spends time with his mother, and Julien uses that time to reconnect more deeply with his wife.
These two choices of life show well enough that happiness is not only a question of money or of means. It is, in fact, a question of mentality, of mindset, of setting priorities. Each of us lives according to our priorities and makes our own the way of life that suits us.
We have just come out of the end-of-year holiday season. During that time, what place did you occupy in your own days? Who was (or were) your main preoccupation? What gift did you give yourself?
It is true that life can be stressful, but above all else we must give ourselves pleasure and show love to those close to us. Projects will get done and will endure, but it takes a joyful, flourishing soul to move them forward and to truly enjoy them.
Do not forget to place yourself at the centre of your actions. You found the world as it is, and it will not have changed much before you are called to leave it. Focus your energy on yourself and work at your own happiness. Be at the centre of your actions. No one will do it in your place, for the one you are waiting on is just as busy building his own castle of joy.
So, are you going to scrape by like Karel or truly live, after the example of Julien ?
M.Z.
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